"I have suffered a very serious neck injury. I blew out a disc,
and after seven months it is still a little sore. There is no other
way to say it. I'm scared! It was a YP that did it, and now I'm
VERY sensitive to who I roll with. I have been going less and less,
and now it's like I'm finding reasons not to go to the gym. To be
honest, if I hadn't started receiving your e-mails, I probably
would have quit by now. I'm still struggling though!  As far as
goals go, I would like to regain my enthusiasm for the sport. I am
a thirty-nine year old blue belt. Sometimes, it's easy to get
sucked into the whole "fight to the death" attitude that some
people bring to the school. Then, when you try to just train to
avoid injury, it seems like your just wasting time or you're being
surpassed by the younger guys, any suggestions?"                  
               
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I'm sorry to hear about your neck injury.  Make sure that you take
care of it and do what's necessary to get it healed before you try
to resume hard training.  Back and neck injuries are the worst body
parts to have chronic injuries because they have the ability to
sideline you indefinitely. 

I also understand your reluctance to train with YPs again,
especially the one that hurt you.  And I definitely understand how
you could be preoccupied with re-injuring your neck to the point
that it interferes with training.  I know for a few months after my
knee surgery, I spent most of my sparring time waiting for the
re-injury that never happened (notice that I said never happened).
I wasn't able to enjoy the training until I got beyond the mental
block of expecting to have my knee re-injured.  What helped me to
recover both physically and mentally was the fact that I avoided
live sparring for months after my surgery and did TONS of drilling.
 After my confidence and comfort in my knee strength grew, I
started doing situation sparring from certain positions with
partners that I could trust and picked up the intensity as I felt
more comfortable (and thought less of being injured).  And I
avoided every young punk that would've put me back on the sideline
if I'd made the mistake of training with them doing my recovery.

I would recommend that you do the same thing until you feel
comfortable with your neck and to resist the urge to push yourself
back too quickly.  The one thing I would caution you about is
allowing that mindset of "feeling scared" to exist unchecked.  I
would prefer for you to be "aware" of the situation that caused the
injury instead of being "scared."  If you're aware of the injury
and are trying to be careful while training, that's one thing.  But
when you make a statement that you're scared, that can't work to
your advantage. If you're afraid that you're going to be hurt
again, you're probably right and should take some time off from
training until your neck gets better or you get to the point to
where you don't feel afraid to train.

As for your motivation to train, you need to ask yourself why you
started training in the first place.  If your goal was to become a
blue belt, then I guess you reached your goal and there's no point
in trying to get re-motivated.  But if your goal is to become a
black belt, that should be all the motivation you need, regardless
of how long it takes you to get it or how many younger teammates
surpass you along the way.  If the goal of achieving your black
belt isn't enough motivation for you, you should probably find
something else to do with your spare time.  I've said in the past
that every grappler needs a mission statement that explains the
reason why they train for the sole purpose of keeping them focused
and motivated when you hit a stumbling block (like your injury)
during training. If you don't have a mission statement, you need to
get to work on one immediately!

Finally, you don't have to get caught up in the "death match"
mentality that exists for lots of grapplers during a training
session. If the partner you're working with feels like the sparring
session is a struggle between the forces of good and evil (as well
as gym bragging rights), let him have it and go find a new partner.
You don't have to get caught up in that stupidity just because one
of your partners wants to do it.